Well, Mark Hamill is in the news for, I don’t know, saying absolutely anything at all that isn’t directly related to Star Wars or Batman, I guess? Whatever. Observatorial has really just plopped a big, sucking void of a news article onto the internet. Luckily, I’m redeemed this whole sorry piece by searching through the comment section and finding a Facebook user who would have slurred people with intellectual disabilities with their DWP if they were able to spell:


Frankie’s father picked up the big book of Greek myths and settled down on the foot of the boy’s bed. He held the book in his lap and it fell open to the exact story he wanted to read, indeed, the exact story he had read to young Frankie time and time again.

“Dad, why do you always pick that one?” Frankie’s voice was high and sleepy and arch.

“Because it’s important. It’s important that you hear it, remember it and, most invaluably, understand it.”

Frankie twisted his face into a scowl, though he quickly lost control of his expression as a big yawn overtook his features.

“For example, my father, your grandfather, once told me a story about a time when he was young. Not young like you, but younger than me certainly. Anyway, the way he told it, he and a buddy were out fishing on day and they were having a good time but grandpa was upset. You see, he knew that his friend’s girlfriend had been, um, seeing other people. And grandpa felt his friend should know. So, he’s out on this boat with his friend and grandpa says, ‘Hey, Joe, do you know the story of Cassandra?’ And Joe says ‘no, is it a joke or something?’ And grandpa just said, ‘no, it’s not a joke’ and then he told Joe that if he kept dating this particular girl that she would end up breaking his heart. Joe got mad and didn’t believe grandpa and thought that he was just telling stories. So, Joe’s angry and gets so angry that he stood up in the boat to yell at grandpa and the whole thing tipped over and they lost their rods and all their equipment.

Now, don’t you think if Joe had known, and remembered, and understood the story of Cassandra, that things might have been different?”

But Frankie was already asleep and any wisdom his father had to impart would have wait until the next night.



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